Angry Skeletons

This weekend I attended a workshop at Wordstock in Portland called Radical Disclosure. The workshop was essentially about the ethical and moral dilemma writers often face when writing about experiences that will bring embarrassment to themselves or others. We were asked to write in class for five minutes about a real life experience that caused embarrassment or was otherwise a "skeleton" in our family and if we were willing, to share it with the class. This is what I wrote:

The day I received a "pocket-dialed" phone call from my uncle and overheard a frightful argument between him and my aunt, was the day my respect for him was lost. I was on a trip out of town and missed their call while out of range, so it went straight to voice mail. I played the message. The first thing I heard was my uncle yelling "I told you I don't want anything. I'm not f**king hungry! I am trying to get this f**king stuff done. Why didn't you listen to me. You never f**king listen. If you would have listened you don't listen to a f*cking thing I say. F**K!! YOU JUST...I CAN'T....F*****CK!!!!!!" I heard my aunt in the background "I was only trying..." My uncle sounding like a rendition of Ozzy Ozborne screamed out a final "DAMN ITS THIS IS F*CKING, F****CK!!!!"

The call ended. I was freaked out, and no clue really what I should do. A call from me this late would be odd. I was worried and concerned whether my aunt was in danger. I didn’t believe my uncle was capable of hurting her, but then again, I hadn’t thought he would ever scream like that either. And if I did call, there is a chance they might find out I knew.

Resisting Change

I logged in this evening with the intent of starting up a brand new blog that I guess I hoped would entice me into a new approach and greater commitment to my writing. But after careful thought, I remembered that my intended purpose for my blog was to endure time and personal change, which as so obviously highlighted in the title itself "site under construction" was practically a guarantee that change is inevitable. So the only thing to resist change, will be my blog.

New Years - Again. Almost repetitive.

It seems like we do this ever year. The difference this year is I turned 40. I think the one thing I've realized this year is just how fast the rest of my life is going to go. Good or bad, the reality that this is my life settles on my mind like gum stuck on the bottom of my shoe, crammed deep down in the crevasse always and forever. I have not decided whether I am either happy or the less, just that I now know the secret of what they were trying to tell me when I was still young.